Growing Up: A Journey from Attachment to Independence

As a child, every parent takes great care of their sons and daughters. Wherever they go, they ensure that the child feels loved and safe in their hands. Most children cling closely to their parents and are unwilling to go to anyone else—be it family members, relatives, or strangers. However, once they start going to school, children are surrounded by many others like them, stepping into a new world where they begin to meet new people and gradually feel safe in their presence.

At the primary and secondary school levels, children mostly perceive things positively due to their abundant optimism towards people and situations. Even when hormonal changes begin during early adolescence, they try to understand and express their emotions, seeking connections with others and still finding people to be a source of excitement in their lives. For instance, they start prioritizing bonds and relationships—whether with friends or with someone they feel infatuated with—and this often leads to arguments with their parents. To some extent, they become experimental and adventurous in their life choices, both in positive and negative ways.

On the positive side, they strive to enhance their skills through various art forms such as dance, singing, or painting, or by fighting for opportunities to play sports. Parents, however, are often reluctant to allow their children to participate in matches, fearing that academics may be affected. This situation resembles a winged bird with the innate ability to fly but remaining caged. On the negative side, peer pressure can have a damaging influence. Negative peer groups may lead innocent individuals down destructive paths, encouraging the consumption of alcohol, drugs, or other harmful activities. Despite such challenges, this age still allows individuals to remain surrounded by people and experiences.

During late adolescence, there is still liveliness and enthusiasm in forming friendships, even though life begins to teach hard lessons. Teenagers often experience betrayal, backbiting, and deceit, especially from those they trust deeply. In the early twenties, there is a growing realisation of family responsibilities, and priorities gradually shift towards the self and one’s role within the family. Concerns revolve more around providing support and stability. During this phase, there is a high possibility of experiencing loneliness, yet little urge to form new bonds.

As a grown-up, expectations become clearly defined. As an individual, I strongly adhere to the ethics of my life, which I would not change for anyone. Firstly, I choose to be a teetotaller and a non-smoker in all situations, and no one can manipulate me into changing that. Secondly, despite the growing trend of hookup culture, situationships, and instant relationships, I remain an old-school person who believes in dating only to marry—or choosing to remain a single, independent woman.

People today often move towards instant gratification, which may stem from various reasons such as lack of parental support, absence of care and love, constant neglect from close circles, autophobia, or an overly optimistic belief that everyone has positive intentions. Sometimes, a single life-changing moment can transform a person entirely.

As someone in my early twenties, happiness for me lies in having a productive day, learning something new daily, and treating people with politeness and humility. I find joy in solitude. Even if there are no giggles at the tea table, even if there is no one to share the details of my day with, I still find peace within myself.